This was a pick-up line from the late 60s into the 70s. I started high school in 1975 and I never got the meaning of this line. The sexual innuendo was lost on me. Now in my 50s, the meaning is blatantly obvious, but back then I just didn’t get it.
I knew there was something sexual about it. What I couldn’t figure out was what sex had to do with coffee or tea. It was a puzzle. And I was a little dense. Okay, I was a lot dense.
Someone asked me this question once and in typical Jane fashion, I laughed.
“Oh, you are so funny!”
When I worked as a teller for Scotiabank we had a client who would tell dirty jokes while he waited for us to complete his transactions. My response? I would give a nervous titter.
One day after he left the teller next to me said,
“Why do you laugh at his jokes?”
“I don’t know, I’m nervous. I don’t know what to say so I laugh.”
“Well stop encouraging him!”
The next time he came in he was at the wicket next to me and he told a dirty joke. The teller didn’t acknowledge him and I didn’t laugh.
“I shouldn’t have said that,” he said.
“No, you should not have,” she replied
He never told another dirty joke.
To this day, if a man says something suggestive, and I don’t know what to say I laugh.
“Ha ha ha”
Last year I decided to join a dating site. If you’ve never been on one it is an eye-opening experience. Gone are the days of sexual innuendo. On dating sites, there are a lot of men who are very direct. I had one man send me a message.
“Wanna go for coffee?”
Before I had a chance to respond he made another comment.
“I want you to wrap your legs around me and ride me hard.”
Wow! I still blush when I tell this story. And no I didn’t meet him for coffee or anything else. There was a lot of shocking, in your face messages. I thought I was in another world without a map.
I once asked my adult daughter, “When a guy invites you in for a drink is that code for sex or does he literally mean a drink?”
Her response, “Mum, if you don’t want to have sex then don’t have sex.”
Suddenly, it all became clear to me. It’s about choices and I have lots of them. No means no and if I misunderstand the meaning of your offer, I can refuse your offer and that’s okay.
Fortunately, I’ve never been in a situation where I was pressured into having sex. If I was, I was clueless. I really don’t ‘speak’ sexual innuendo very well.
About a year ago, I met Michael at a bar for a drink. We had been corresponding on the dating site and decided it was time to meet in person. In the time we communicated online there was never any sexual innuendo. He was respectful and sweet. We were speaking the same language and I felt comfortable with our conversations.
Michael is a little rough around the edges. A diamond in the rough. But I’ll take him any day over a “coffee, tea or me?” smooth talker.