Daily Prompt: tea

This was a pick-up line from the late 60s into the 70s. I started high school in 1975 and I never got the meaning of this line. The sexual innuendo was lost on me. Now in my 50s, the meaning is blatantly obvious, but back then I just didn’t get it.

I knew there was something sexual about it. What I couldn’t figure out was what sex had to do with coffee or tea. It was a puzzle. And I was a little dense. Okay, I was a lot dense.

Someone asked me this question once and in typical Jane fashion, I laughed.

“Oh, you are so funny!”

When I worked as a teller for Scotiabank we had a client who would tell dirty jokes while he waited for us to complete his transactions. My response? I would give a nervous titter.

One day after he left the teller next to me said,

“Why do you laugh at his jokes?”

I don’t know, I’m nervous. I don’t know what to say so I laugh.”

“Well stop encouraging him!”

The next time he came in he was at the wicket next to me and he told a dirty joke. The teller didn’t acknowledge him and I didn’t laugh.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” he said.

No, you should not have,” she replied

He never told another dirty joke.

To this day, if a man says something suggestive, and I don’t know what to say I laugh.

“Ha ha ha”

Last year I decided to join a dating site. If you’ve never been on one it is an eye-opening experience. Gone are the days of sexual innuendo. On dating sites, there are a lot of men who are very direct. I had one man send me a message.

“Wanna go for coffee?”

Before I had a chance to respond he made another comment.

“I want you to wrap your legs around me and ride me hard.”

Wow! I still blush when I tell this story. And no I didn’t meet him for coffee or anything else. There was a lot of shocking, in your face messages. I thought I was in another world without a map.

I once asked my adult daughter, “When a guy invites you in for a drink is that code for sex or does he literally mean a drink?”

Her response, “Mum, if you don’t want to have sex then don’t have sex.”

Suddenly, it all became clear to me. It’s about choices and I have lots of them. No means no and if I misunderstand the meaning of your offer, I can refuse your offer and that’s okay.

Fortunately, I’ve never been in a situation where I was pressured into having sex. If I was, I was clueless. I really don’t ‘speak’ sexual innuendo very well.

About a year ago, I met Michael at a bar for a drink. We had been corresponding on the dating site and decided it was time to meet in person. In the time we communicated online there was never any sexual innuendo. He was respectful and sweet. We were speaking the same language and I felt comfortable with our conversations.

Michael is a little rough around the edges. A diamond in the rough. But I’ll take him any day over a “coffee, tea or me?” smooth talker.



You know You’re having a Mental Day when…

Crazy Train
Everyone, now and then, has a bad day. The difference between a bad day and a mental one can mean the difference between eating junk food for dinner or having a psychotic break. I’m a mental, a name I call myself and everyone dealing with mental illness.

A bad day is a good thing, it’s normal and everyone has them, if they don’t, they should. The more experience you have as a mental, the easier it becomes to see the difference between a normal ‘bad’ day and an ‘I’m taking the train to crazy town’ kinda day.

Here are a few ways to figure out what side of sanity you’re sitting on.

You know you’re having a mental day when:

1. You wake-up and wonder why the first activity of the day is so difficult. If the ensuite wasn’t so far away you wouldn’t have to think about it. After lying there wondering how you can avoid using the toilet, it you get up.

2. You manage to have a shower, dress and eat breakfast. By the time you finish eating, you’re exhausted so you take a nap. Your husband put in several hours of work already and your kids left for school before you started breakfast.

3. Standing in the middle of a room, lost in space, your kids ask you if you’re okay. You ask them why they think you’re not okay, and their answer is, that you’re standing in the middle of the room lost in space. You remember turning from the counter to open the fridge but you don’t remember stopping.

4. You eat cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner because anything else is too hard to make. When you go to the grocery store, you stand in the cereal aisle overwhelmed. Do you want the original flavoured or the vanilla, almond, honey, strawberry or chocolate version. You can’t decide so you go home and take a nap.

5. When your husband comes home and asks how your day was, your list of activities include: eating, napping and watching TV. You think your day was productive, your husband wonders why you didn’t go to the gym. You wonder why he didn’t ask you to climb Mount Kilimanjaro at the same time.

6. Are you the glass half full or half empty type? Is this a joke? You’re glass is empty, there’s a drought and you don’t care if it ever gets filled. Your husband asks you why you’re so negative which is cause for hysterical laughter. You’re depressed, you tell him, depression renders your mind incapable of positive, happy thoughts.

7. Then there’s the crying for apparently no reason, the desperate apologies and ‘goodbye cruel world’ speeches. You know you sound crazy and your family thinks you are crazy, so you try to make them see that you’re not crazy, which in turn has them thinking you’re in worse shape than they thought.

8. You don’t say much out loud but you’re having a lot of conversations in your head. You occasionally say something which causes your family to wonder whom you were talking to.

9. Family members ask you if you’ve taken your meds.

10. After a long day you wish your family goodnight and you’re off to bed. They’re giving you that look again because it’s not even close to bedtime.

One mental day is okay but unfortunately, one mental day usually leads to a mental week and weeks lead to months… It’s time to put your coping skills to work, call a mental health hotline or see your psychiatrist. Maybe you need some talk therapy or a dosage increase.

The clueless will tell you to suck it up, snap out of it, or get over it. Well-intentioned people think they’re helping, by giving you unwanted advice. Their advice will drag you down and not lift you up. If you want to get better you might want to limit your time with the clueless group.

Be kind to yourself and surround yourself with loving, supportive people. The mental days will get better as you recover, as the saying goes, “this too shall pass.” Mental illness can feel like a never-ending ride on the crazy train but it won’t always be that way. Just between you and me, do yourself a favour and avoid the clueless people.